So in the past year, two people that I considered among my best friends have decidedly moved away from claiming that title. Both were understandable, but both hurt. In each case, both parties were to blame, some more than others, but in each case, I miss my friend.

I suppose it has to do with growing older, people making mistakes, or simply people just growing apart, but in both cases I was optimistic that a friendship could be resumed, or at least start fresh. I guess one one of the cases, it hasn't resumed the way that I wanted it to because we've become wholly different people than we were when the whole thing started, and that's no one's fault. And neither of us have made much of an effort to maintain a friendship on anything more than a superficial level. However, in many respects, I still feel as though I was dismissed, even though it was never a conscious effort on his part; simultaneously, I feel guilt for not having done enough to keep a friendship going. I now feel that this person who knew me better than almost anyone doesn't really know who I have become. And who I'm becoming.

There's something sad about that.

I have a hard time being cast off or outgrown by anyone, but at the same time, I find it very difficult to outgrow people. I can't avoid it, but it doesn't mean I miss them any less. Ideally, it would be nice if I could grow along with people, and we could manage to stay friends along the way, and get to witness what the other becomes.

I don't know, I just miss people, and often feel that I need all the friends I can get.